How to deal with constant arguments in a relationship

Hey everyone, thanks for opening up about this, it is something that I think a lot of people struggle with. It's really tough when you and your partner have different ways of communicating, and it sounds like your friend is going through a really difficult time, so thank you for sharing.

• I totally understand how frustrating it can be when one person wants to talk right away and the other needs time to think It's like you're speaking different languages! I've definitely been there in the past, and it can really lead to some major arguments.
• I think it's important to try and find a balance that works for both of you, but it can be so difficult to do, especially when you're feeling emotional. It's not always easy to compromise when you feel hurt or misunderstood, and it can be so tempting to just retreat or lash out.
• In my experience, it’s okay to take a bit of time to cool off before talking things through, but it is important to come back to the issue, and to not leave things unsaid. Sometimes, when we are in the heat of the moment, we say things we don’t really mean, and that can make things worse. Perhaps a time out, is a good idea?
• When I have taken time to cool off, it has also given me a chance to think about how I feel, and what I actually want to say, so that I can communicate more clearly and calmly. Of course, this has not always worked for me, and it's something that I have always struggled with.
• I really think that a lot of these problems come from a lack of understanding and awareness. For me, I have always struggled to articulate my emotions in the moment, and so I have often found that I come across as uncommunicative, or as if I don't care. I am trying to be more mindful of that now.

Maybe it might help if you and your partner can take the time to understand how each of you likes to communicate, and what you need from each other, and then try to meet halfway?

Constant arguments in a relationship, confirm very kan cheong . It's like you're always kena a chao kwee situation where you kena argue non-stop, right? I think it's very common lah, for couples to kena this kind of jialat problem, especially when they have different ways of talking .

I think the main issue here is the communication style lah. Like your friend, one wants to talk immediately and the other one needs time to siam and think, like one is gan cheong spider and the other one is like a slow coach sia. This is where the jialat part comes in, because when people have different modus operandi, confirm there will be clashes.

I feel like, the gan cheong one, who wants to talk immediately, will confirm feel like the other one is bo chup and paiseh, and not taking the relationship seriously, right? Like, when you want to settle the matter pronto, and the other person wants to siam somewhere and think, it's like they are avoiding the problem and not caring at all.

But the one who needs time to siam and process, I think they just need time to calm down, so that they don’t say something siao on and chao kwee. Because sometimes when you are angry, you say things you don't mean mah, and it will make the whole situation even more jialat. Maybe this person is just trying not to be too kayu, and agar agar what to say first lah.

I think both sides need to agar agar and kena flexible, lah, and try to understand the other person's perspective . The gan cheong person needs to learn to siam a little, and give their partner space, and not to chiong and try to talk pronto. The other one who needs time to process, also needs to learn to not to take too long, because the other person will feel like they don't care about the problem.

And most importantly, I think everyone needs to be a bit more kay poh and listen to the other person's perspective, and understand how they are feeling . Don't just chiong and argue and sabo the other person, but instead you try to agar agar why they are feeling that way.

Communication is very important lah, even if you speak different languages, must also agar agar a way to understand each other.

I am curious to hear what other people think. I think this is a common problem lah, and we need to learn how to deal with it, because there are a lot of couples who kena this problem.

LemonPeach said:

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she shared a situation that got me thinking. She and her partner have been having some tension lately because they both have very different communication styles.

One of them prefers to talk things out immediately, while the other needs time to process before discussing anything. It’s causing a lot of misunderstandings, and they’re both getting frustrated.

So, how do you guys handle situations like this in a relationship? How do you balance differing communication styles? Do you think it’s important to be able to communicate immediately, or is it okay to take some time apart before talking things through? Would love to hear your thoughts on this! ❤

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This is very relatable leh! Like, I also had a girlfriend before, and we also kena this problem lah.

I think the main thing is that different people communicate differently, lah, you know? Some people like to chiong and talk straight away, while others need to siam a bit and think things through first, hor? My girlfriend was like that one leh, she always wanted to talk things out immediately one. But me, I kena think first, then talk. So confirm kena misunderstandings, you know?

I think it’s important to agar agar each other, lah. If one person likes to talk straight away, maybe the other person kena try to be more understanding. And if the other person needs time to think, then the other one kena try to be patient, lah. It's like both also kena give and take a bit, you know?

For me, I think it's okay to take some time apart lah, if needed. Sometimes when you are both too emotional, you kena take a break, lah, and calm down first. Otherwise, you will confirm end up arguing and saying things you don't mean. Its like, if cannot settle, go and siam a bit, then come back and talk when everyone is more calm, mah?

But the key thing is to communicate lah, don't just keep quiet. If both also don't talk about it, then confirm the problem will still be there, you know? So you kena communicate to understand each other better, lah. Then you will learn how to deal with each other, lor? Even if your communication styles are very different, you kena find a way to talk about things, and find a solution.

I think it’s very difficult to find a balance lah, especially if both of you are very different. For my girlfriend and me, we kena lots of misunderstandings, and in the end, it just didn't work out lah, sad. But I think if you try to be understanding and willing to make it work, then it's possible one. I hope you all can agar agar this leh!"

JustMeHere said:

This is very relatable leh! Like, I also had a girlfriend before, and we also kena this problem lah.

I think the main thing is that different people communicate differently, lah, you know? Some people like to chiong and talk straight away, while others need to siam a bit and think things through first, hor? My girlfriend was like that one leh, she always wanted to talk things out immediately one. But me, I kena think first, then talk. So confirm kena misunderstandings, you know?

I think it’s important to agar agar each other, lah. If one person likes to talk straight away, maybe the other person kena try to be more understanding. And if the other person needs time to think, then the other one kena try to be patient, lah. It's like both also kena give and take a bit, you know?

For me, I think it's okay to take some time apart lah, if needed. Sometimes when you are both too emotional, you kena take a break, lah, and calm down first. Otherwise, you will confirm end up arguing and saying things you don't mean. Its like, if cannot settle, go and siam a bit, then come back and talk when everyone is more calm, mah?

But the key thing is to communicate lah, don't just keep quiet. If both also don't talk about it, then confirm the problem will still be there, you know? So you kena communicate to understand each other better, lah. Then you will learn how to deal with each other, lor? Even if your communication styles are very different, you kena find a way to talk about things, and find a solution.

I think it’s very difficult to find a balance lah, especially if both of you are very different. For my girlfriend and me, we kena lots of misunderstandings, and in the end, it just didn't work out lah, sad. But I think if you try to be understanding and willing to make it work, then it's possible one. I hope you all can agar agar this leh!"

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I think the main thing is that different people communicate differently, lah, you know? Some people like to chiong and talk straight away, while others need to siam a bit and think things through first, hor? My girlfriend was like that one leh, she always wanted to talk things out immediately one. But me, I kena think first, then talk. So confirm kena misunderstandings, you know?

I think it’s important to agar agar each other, lah. If one person likes to talk straight away, maybe the other person kena try to be more understanding. And if the other person needs time to think, then the other one kena try to be patient, lah. It's like both also kena give and take a bit, you know?

So, yeah, communication is very important lah, and you kena be mindful of how the other person likes to communicate. Not everyone is the same one. Maybe this will help to prevent all the drama lah. Jia you everyone!"

LovesToLaugh said:

I think the main thing is that different people communicate differently, lah, you know? Some people like to chiong and talk straight away, while others need to siam a bit and think things through first, hor? My girlfriend was like that one leh, she always wanted to talk things out immediately one. But me, I kena think first, then talk. So confirm kena misunderstandings, you know?

I think it’s important to agar agar each other, lah. If one person likes to talk straight away, maybe the other person kena try to be more understanding. And if the other person needs time to think, then the other one kena try to be patient, lah. It's like both also kena give and take a bit, you know?

So, yeah, communication is very important lah, and you kena be mindful of how the other person likes to communicate. Not everyone is the same one. Maybe this will help to prevent all the drama lah. Jia you everyone!"

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Hey everyone, wah, this thread is very interesting leh! I think the points you made about different communication styles are spot on lah. Like, I also had a similar issue with my boyfriend before.

I agree that different people communicate differently lah, you know? Some people like to chiong and talk straight away, while others need to siam a bit and think things through first, hor? It can be quite difficult to navigate these different styles, especially when you and your partner have different communication preferences. I can see how this causes misunderstandings.

It's really important to agar agar each other, lah, like you said. I think that if one person is more talkative, the other person needs to try to be understanding, and if one person needs more time to think things through, then the other person needs to be patient lah. It is like both parties kena give and take a bit, you know?

Actually, my boyfriend and I had a similar problem lah, but thankfully, we managed to resolve it already. It took some time and effort lah, to understand each other's styles, but we got there in the end. Sometimes, we need to find a middle ground lah, not always either way.

So, yes, I think communication is the key to a good relationship lah. You kena be aware of how the other person prefers to communicate. Not everyone is the same one. Maybe this can help everyone, lah, to avoid drama. Jia you everyone

LemonPeach said:

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she shared a situation that got me thinking. She and her partner have been having some tension lately because they both have very different communication styles.

One of them prefers to talk things out immediately, while the other needs time to process before discussing anything. It’s causing a lot of misunderstandings, and they’re both getting frustrated.

So, how do you guys handle situations like this in a relationship? How do you balance differing communication styles? Do you think it’s important to be able to communicate immediately, or is it okay to take some time apart before talking things through? Would love to hear your thoughts on this! ❤

Click to expand...

I can't imagine dating somebody with different communication style. For me, communication is a key before jumping into more serious relationship. If it's just a fling, no probs. For a long time commitment? No thanks. Maybe it's better to be just friend than being in an ineffective relationship