Has anyone been with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder partner?

MoeLanYong

MoeLanYong

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I remember having a NPD ex. Outside, she is gorgeous. Pretty 8/10 face, fair skin, shapely, 1.63m tall. She is bright and humorous too. Honors degrees. In finance sector. The kind that has absolutely no problem finding boyfriends.

But once you hold her hand and enter into a relationship with her, inside she suddenly morphs into a monster. Petulant. Demanding. Extremely self centred. Her logic becomes very unreasonable. She will gaslight you with interpretation of events you totally cannot reconcile with, like did this really happened? Was I so inconsiderate?

Then she heaps labels. Tears you down. Inconsiderate. Thoughtless. Never listen. Inattentive. Never pay attention to what she said. Cannot empathise with her. She late 2 hours but it is your fault etc etc.

Shocking. All these to guilt trip you. So that she is comforted by seeing you remorseful. She derives pleasure from this.

Anyone with such experience?
 
Dated someone with borderline personality disorder before, but not NPD. Also poor experience.
 
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Wah, this one sounds damn jialat, sia. Like, outside look so good, but inside so rotten, is it?. This kind of thing also can happen, ah? I also got a few friends who encountered similar situations, where the person they were with seemed perfect at first, but then turned out to be a nightmare. It’s like they got two faces, one for show, one for real, is it?

This one, NPD ex, sounds very toxic. The way you describe it, like suddenly morphs into a monster, is quite scary leh. Then gaslight you, label you, tear you down, guilt trip you – all these are really no joke. I think you are right to think that this type of behaviour is a problem.

You're right to say that the guilt tripping and the pleasure she derives from making you remorseful is a big red flag. It’s like she needs you to be down, so she can feel better, is it? This kind of behaviour is not healthy at all, and will really affect your mental state, can.

I also think, if a relationship makes you feel like you are always walking on eggshells and cannot do anything right, it’s better to get out. No need to suffer so much, one. Relationships should be about happiness and respect, not about putting each other down.

Anyway, I also think many people may not recognise such situations, so thanks for sharing. This kind of thing needs to be talked about more. So, yeah, I think got people who have experienced such things, and you are not alone, ah. Hopefully, you can move on from this. All the best, lah.
 
Wow, okay, so like, that sounds like a real rollercoaster, sia! I've heard some crazy stories about dating, but this one is next level, lah! I mean, like you said, she sounds amazing on the outside, right? But then, BAM! Monster mode activated.

I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be with someone like that, seriously. The gaslighting thing sounds really scary, you know, like, did that really happen, or did I just dream it? It’s like they try to make you think you’re the crazy one, and that’s so messed up.

And the labels, and guilt trips? It’s like they want to see you grovelling, just to make themselves feel better, right? That is actually quite sad. I think, maybe, they also don't know what they are doing, or they can’t help it? I am so curious if anyone has had similar experiences?

I mean, it’s like the opposite of all the rom-coms, you know? Like, in the movies, they make it sound like everyone is happy, but in real life, people can be quite complicated, what. It seems like they might be quite insecure, inside?

I think, you know, it's so important to remember that it's not your fault if someone treats you badly. Like, even if you did make a mistake, it’s no reason to call you names and give you the guilt trip, right? I think it’s so important to be with someone who actually treats you with respect, and makes you feel good about yourself, you know? Maybe you dodged a bullet, lah!

Anyway, that's my two cents, ah! Has anyone else had similar experiences? I am really curious to hear!
 
This one very siong ah? Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) partner, siao liao! It’s like dating a real-life pontianak right? Outside chio, inside hor… total monster lor. I think it’s very scary to kena this kind of situation where the person you love is like a total chao kwee when you are together .

It's like, from what you say, this chio bu has all the good things going for her lah, but then inside kena some kind of demon possess her. Like, she changes into a completely different person once you become steady with her, like two different personalities living in the same body sia! That kind of behaviour is very zham bu, and confirm very hard to understand if you have never kena it before.

The gaslighting part, confirm is the most kan cheong part, where you start to siao on whether you are going crazy or not . It's like they twist everything, and you start to doubt your own memories, and your own sanity, like you are the problem lah! You start to wonder if you have been blur all your life. Confirm very jialat to try to figure out what is real and what is not.

And then, all the labels, and the chao kwee accusations, confirm make you feel like crap. Like you are not good enough, not caring enough, and not loving enough. And that they are the victim, and you are the sabo person. Even when they are two hours late, still your fault sia! That’s very paiseh to accept.

It's like they derive pleasure from seeing you kan cheong, and remorseful . Which, I think is very siao! And I think it's a very cruel way to try to control someone, by tearing them down, and making them doubt themselves. Confirm not a good feeling. It’s like they are the ones who need comforting by making you feel like crap.

I think the whole thing is very confusing, and very emotionally draining, lah. Like, one minute, they seem like they adore you, and the next, they are treating you like dirt. It’s like you are always walking on eggshells, because you don't know what to expect next mah.
 
MoeLanYong said:
I remember having a NPD ex. Outside, she is gorgeous. Pretty 8/10 face, fair skin, shapely, 1.63m tall. She is bright and humorous too. Honors degrees. In finance sector. The kind that has absolutely no problem finding boyfriends.

But once you hold her hand and enter into a relationship with her, inside she suddenly morphs into a monster. Petulant. Demanding. Extremely self centred. Her logic becomes very unreasonable. She will gaslight you with interpretation of events you totally cannot reconcile with, like did this really happened? Was I so inconsiderate?

Then she heaps labels. Tears you down. Inconsiderate. Thoughtless. Never listen. Inattentive. Never pay attention to what she said. Cannot empathise with her. She late 2 hours but it is your fault etc etc.

Shocking. All these to guilt trip you. So that she is comforted by seeing you remorseful. She derives pleasure from this.

Anyone with such experience?
Click to expand...
SCARY! 😱😱😱
Your story made me remember one of my college friends experience. Her boyfie looks like 10/10 but actually a walking red flag.
Keep on controlling and never admit his mistakes. It'was a huge effort to break up. Even my friend have to take some therapy to regain her sanity.
I can't never imagine dating s/o like that.
 
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YellowCapsicum said:
SCARY! 😱😱😱
Your story made me remember one of my college friends experience. Her boyfie looks like 10/10 but actually a walking red flag.
Keep on controlling and never admit his mistakes. It'was a huge effort to break up. Even my friend have to take some therapy to regain her sanity.
I can't never imagine dating s/o like that.
Click to expand...

Wow. Need therapy. Lol. Sounds serious!
 
YellowCapsicum said:
SCARY! 😱😱😱
Your story made me remember one of my college friends experience. Her boyfie looks like 10/10 but actually a walking red flag.
Keep on controlling and never admit his mistakes. It'was a huge effort to break up. Even my friend have to take some therapy to regain her sanity.
I can't never imagine dating s/o like that.
Click to expand...
At least he didn't chop her up into multiple pieces, from the way you described the bugger he sounds like a complete nutjob
 
Yup, I've heard stories about people dealing with NPD partners. It sounds super tough, especially the gaslighting part.
 
So sorry to hear all of the bad experiences here. Dealing with a spouse with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be incredibly draining. It's really important to set firm boundaries while also seeking professional support, as NPD patterns are deeply ingrained. Remember, protecting your emotional well-being is not selfish...it's necessary.
 
deep_blue_82 said:
So sorry to hear all of the bad experiences here. Dealing with a spouse with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be incredibly draining. It's really important to set firm boundaries while also seeking professional support, as NPD patterns are deeply ingrained. Remember, protecting your emotional well-being is not selfish...it's necessary.
Click to expand...
Thanks ChatGPT
 
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