Honestly, what’s happening with young people nowadays? Back then, no matter how tough marriage got, we stuck it out and worked through the issues. Now, at the first sign of conflict, they’re ready to call it quits and file for divorce. It’s like marriage has become disposable. Where’s the commitment? Where’s the patience? Sometimes I wonder if they really understand the meaning of “for better or worse.” Am I just being old-fashioned, or have things really changed that much?
zoomzoom
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- Feb 4, 2025
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Ahh, this is one that I want to explain.
Not sure if this applies to your case, but this is true in the neighboring country.
Young people were *forced* to get married for the sake of being married or fulfilling religious task. I have a friend that got married as soon as she graduated from highschool.
She seems to have a good life, at least in the beginning. But now she's alone with her baby, the father is not really committing into the relationship. So, when there is a small wave in the marriage, it's easy to wreck the ship.
Moral story: don't get married for the sake of it
Not sure if this applies to your case, but this is true in the neighboring country.
Young people were *forced* to get married for the sake of being married or fulfilling religious task. I have a friend that got married as soon as she graduated from highschool.
She seems to have a good life, at least in the beginning. But now she's alone with her baby, the father is not really committing into the relationship. So, when there is a small wave in the marriage, it's easy to wreck the ship.
Moral story: don't get married for the sake of it
Because there is an alternative- divorce. Imagine if it’s taboo or something
I give you a real case. There was an observation by the way of junior nurses
Nursing is tough. So not many can stick out the initial years. We looked at junior nurses who are bonded vs those not bonded.
Many more nurses who were not bonded (or had money to buy off the bond) quit at first opportunity while those who were bonded stuck out to the end of the bond period.
In simple terms, if there was no easy exit alternative, people will stick it out and adapt and endure
IDK the exact reason because I didn't married yet. But from my experience, dating is already difficult.... marriage?? Feels like mission impossible. So many standards, different point of views, and choices. Don't forget the economic condition nowadays, it brings us some stress fr.
I also married in "relatively" young age, just graduated from uni and woosh... Married with my BF (now ex husband). I admit that I didn't use my time wisely. If I can turn back the time, I'd prefer to enjoy my younger years, become a career woman, and settle down when I already done exploring my own life. Well, now I enjoying my life, but with a widow status
You divorced or your husband died?I also married in "relatively" young age, just graduated from uni and woosh... Married with my BF (now ex husband). I admit that I didn't use my time wisely. If I can turn back the time, I'd prefer to enjoy my younger years, become a career woman, and settle down when I already done exploring my own life. Well, now I enjoying my life, but with a widow status
A match once told me she'd just buy a new pair of sports shoes after her current pair is spoilt. Consumerism mentality. If it's replaceable, it's probably not cherished. Dating app offers the deluded perspective of replacement for relationship.
I actually read somewhere. Not sure if it was a study but it’s something like this
Two groups of people went for a vacation
First group - plenty of choices on what to do
Second group - only one choice
It turned out the first group ended up unhappier cos no matter what choice they made, they always wondered if it was the best choice. For the second group, they were happier cos they forced themselves to enjoy their sole choice and were never burdened by the “what if”.
Perhaps that’s the reason why there is an increase in divorce even with dating and such and less of it when it was forced (arranged marriage).
Indeed. There was a research done on the topic of choice. On why people who have more choices are seemingly less happy.
I divorced. My ex can't let go his single era life. Can't cooperate at handling house chores, rarely at home, and still hanging out with his friend almost every night. I feel an empty marriage because of that. Thank God we didn't have a kids yet. Forever is too long for these sh*ts
Woah, great insight.
Girls changes their spouse like changes their shoes?? TBH it sounds so sad how human treat like a disposable things nowadays.
If you think that there could always be a better match out there, why would you put in effort to think of how to respond and respond with sincerity? As a guy, I had my share of girls giving one size fit all reply, one word two word reply. It's often till they had no choice but to be proactive in responses, then some start initiating chats but that's often cos they are no longer young anymore and get fewer matches. But still, many give generic replies like they're casting a net.
Tangerine
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- Feb 23, 2025
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An empty marriage is terrible. He had shown to prefer his time with friends rather than building a nest with his partner for life..I divorced. My ex can't let go his single era life. Can't cooperate at handling house chores, rarely at home, and still hanging out with his friend almost every night. I feel an empty marriage because of that. Thank God we didn't have a kids yet. Forever is too long for these sh*ts
If this prolongs with a kid, life will be more complicated and the suffering will not just be on both adults but on the kid as well.
Sounds frustrating
But honestly, this goes both ways. Some people keep looking for a "better match" instead of investing in what they have.
But I think that’s a mindset issue, not just a dating trend. If someone isn’t putting in effort, they’re either not that interested or not mature enough for a real connection. Anyway I'm agree with U. Best to move on and focus on those who actually value meaningful conversation. Saves time, saves energy.
CET87
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- Feb 25, 2025
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most young couple married too early without knowing what they want from their partner.
only discovered the shortcoming and disappointment when living together.
after divorce, they know what to look for in their next partner.
Ah, the classic 'too young, too soon' trap! Look, we all think we’ve got it figured out in our twenties, right? But reality hits when you’re sharing a bathroom and trying to agree on anything... from TV shows to whether the laundry goes in the hamper or on the floor.
After the divorce, you finally realize what you actually need in a partner, but hey, now you’re older, wiser, and probably a little more open to the idea that your dream person might not exist (or at least, might come with a few quirks).
Lesson learned: sometimes, you’ve gotta break a few eggs to know what kind of omelet you want.
CET87
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- Feb 25, 2025
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Tangerine
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- Feb 23, 2025
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The next partner can never be just like you. It's always some parts alike, some parts different. No one is alike, not even twins. So spend your time searching....At the end, just live by yourself if can't compromise or get along with one another.
Sad to hear that. I thought that kind of practice doesn't applied anymore in nowadays society. Guess I should count my blessing, being born and raised in a non - conventional family.
Even my mom encourage me to enjoy my single era and remind me to not marry too soon
