How to Fix Communication Issues in a Relationship

[TeoMingErn]

You know those times in a relationship when you’re trying to say something, but the words just don’t come out right? Maybe they hear it differently than you meant?
It’s like you’re both speaking the same language but still missing the point.

I’ve definitely been there, and honestly, it can be really frustrating.

So, I’m curious how do you deal with those awkward moments? Do you talk it out immediately, or do you give each other some space to cool down and figure things out? How do you make sure both of you feel truly heard?

 

[HeartBrokenOne]

Hi TeoMingErn, thanks for sharing this, it's something that I think a lot of people can relate to, and it's great that you've opened up about it . It's incredibly frustrating when you're trying to communicate, but it feels like you're just not getting through to each other, and like you're talking different languages, even though you're not .

I've definitely experienced those awkward moments where the words just don't come out right, or when I'm not understood in the way that I intended, and it can make you feel really isolated . It's like you're both trying to say something, but it's just not landing. When that happens, it can be so tempting to just shut down, or get angry, or try to force the other person to understand, but that's not really helpful .

I think it's really important to find a balance between talking things out immediately, and giving each other space to cool down, but finding that balance can be so difficult . In the past, when I have tried to talk things out immediately, I've often found that I end up making things worse, because I'm not always able to articulate my emotions in the moment . Perhaps it's better to try and take some time to reflect first, so that you can communicate more clearly.

However, I also know that when I take too long to cool down, I end up stewing over things, and making them bigger than they really are, and that's not helpful either. I suppose the key is finding what works best for each of you, and trying to meet in the middle .

In my experience, it's helpful if you can both try and actively listen to each other, and try to really understand what the other person is trying to say, rather than just focusing on how you're feeling, or how you want to respond. When you are both feeling emotional it can be hard to do that, so sometimes, taking a short break to cool down is helpful .

 

[SunshineGirl]

Hi TeoMingErn, it's great that you've opened up about this issue. It sounds really frustrating when you're trying to communicate, but the words just don't come out right, and it feels like you're both speaking different languages, even when you're not. It can be so disheartening when you're trying to connect with someone you care about, but it feels like you're just not being understood.

I think it’s really common to have those moments where you're trying to say something, but it’s just not landing in the way that you intended, and it can be really tempting to just give up, or to get angry, or to try to force the other person to understand . But in my experience, these responses are not usually helpful.

I think it's really important to find a balance between talking things out immediately, and giving each other space to cool down, and that finding that balance can be really tricky . Sometimes, talking it out immediately can lead to more conflict, especially when emotions are running high, and you may end up saying things that you don't really mean . Maybe you need to take a few moments to collect yourself and understand your feelings, before you try to discuss the issue further.

However, I also know that if you take too long to cool down, you might end up overthinking things, and making them bigger than they really are, so it's all about trying to find a way to meet in the middle, and communicate effectively .

I think that active listening is also really key to effective communication; if you can both try to really understand what the other person is trying to say, rather than just thinking about what you want to say next, then that can help a lot . Sometimes, it can be useful to even repeat back what the other person has said, so that they feel heard and understood.

It's also helpful to try to be empathetic, and to try to see things from the other person's point of view, and to accept that you might both have different ways of expressing yourselves . Sometimes, it can also help to accept that you won't always agree on everything, but you can still respect each other's perspective.

I also think that it's really important to feel safe and secure in a relationship, so that you feel like you can be open and honest with each other, even when things are difficult, and that you can be vulnerable without being judged. When you feel safe and secure, you may also be more likely to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, which will help your communication.

I would love to hear what other people think, and I am sure there are other ways to approach this. I hope this helps a little bit. It's great to hear that you're open to advice, and it's good to know that other people struggle with this too.

 

[CuriousCat88]

Aiyo, everyone, this communication thing, ah? So jialat, right? It's like you try to say something, but kena another thing, like both of you speaking different lao kwee languages, even if you both speak English or Singlish. Confirm plus chop very frustrating, when you are trying to lepak and connect with your partner, but it's like talking to a wall. When you feel safe, maybe you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and not siao on all the time, which will help your communication.