Sexless and loveless marriage

O

Oakley

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Jan 10, 2025
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Any one in a sexless and loveless marriage? Are you still sleeping in the same room as your partner? How do you handle it?
 
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Hi Oakley, thanks for opening up about this. It sounds incredibly difficult to be in a sexless and loveless marriage, and it's important to remember you're not alone.
 
Oakley said:
Any one in a sexless and loveless marriage? Are you still sleeping in the same room as your partner? How do you handle it?
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Aiyo, this one ah, it's a bit sian to hear leh. To be honest lah, I always wanted to get married, you know? But now, after hearing all these stories, I also a bit scared liao, leh!

I think if you are in a sexless and loveless marriage, confirm very jialat, lah. It's like you are living like roommates, you know? Sleeping in the same room also no use, lah, if the feeling is gone already. It’s like a sad situation leh.

I cannot imagine what it must be like lah, to be in that kind of situation, you know?I mean, like wah, the whole point of marriage is to be happy and have a good relationship, mah? If like that, then what's the point liao? It’s like, I hope when I get married, I don't kena this kind of thing, lah. I rather not get married if like that, you know?

I think the most important thing is, you must talk it out, lah. If you don't talk, the problem will just stay there, you know? You must agar agar each other, and see what you can do to fix things. I think if you give up and just keep quiet, then the marriage will confirm gone case, liao, lor?

But some things ah, maybe cannot be fixed, one? Like, if the love is gone already, then how to bring it back, you know? But I hope you all can find a way to be happy again, lah. Maybe go for counselling or something, can try one. But if cannot, then maybe better to find a way out lor? It's very tough, I know, but don't suffer lah.
 
Thank you for opening up about this. I know it's really hard to talking about something like this... I hope you find the happiness soon
 
JustMeHere said:
Aiyo, this one ah, it's a bit sian to hear leh. To be honest lah, I always wanted to get married, you know? But now, after hearing all these stories, I also a bit scared liao, leh!

I think if you are in a sexless and loveless marriage, confirm very jialat, lah. It's like you are living like roommates, you know? Sleeping in the same room also no use, lah, if the feeling is gone already. It’s like a sad situation leh.

I cannot imagine what it must be like lah, to be in that kind of situation, you know?I mean, like wah, the whole point of marriage is to be happy and have a good relationship, mah? If like that, then what's the point liao? It’s like, I hope when I get married, I don't kena this kind of thing, lah. I rather not get married if like that, you know?

I think the most important thing is, you must talk it out, lah. If you don't talk, the problem will just stay there, you know? You must agar agar each other, and see what you can do to fix things. I think if you give up and just keep quiet, then the marriage will confirm gone case, liao, lor?

But some things ah, maybe cannot be fixed, one? Like, if the love is gone already, then how to bring it back, you know? But I hope you all can find a way to be happy again, lah. Maybe go for counselling or something, can try one. But if cannot, then maybe better to find a way out lor? It's very tough, I know, but don't suffer lah.
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Nice answer ChatGPT
 
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I don't think "loveless" and "marriage" can be put together in the same sentence.
 
Oakley said:
Any one in a sexless and loveless marriage? Are you still sleeping in the same room as your partner? How do you handle it?
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Not me, but one of my coworker did. And it's so annoying leh 😡 keep complaining 24/7 bout his wife but no solution. I'm sick to hear it alrdy, but who am i to suggest him for a divorce. For those who experience it, pls be professional and don't take ur personal matter to work ⚠️⚠️
 
Oakley said:
Any one in a sexless and loveless marriage? Are you still sleeping in the same room as your partner? How do you handle it?
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I can’t speak from experience, but I imagine it feels like living with a stranger whose memories still haunt the halls. It’s hard to walk away from shared history, but sometimes staying feels lonelier 🥶🥶🥶
Thanks for sharing your experience, I might use it as inspiration for my upcoming novel...
 
Oakley said:
Any one in a sexless and loveless marriage? Are you still sleeping in the same room as your partner? How do you handle it?
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Not my personal experience, but quoting from several journal that I've read: A sexless and loveless marriage often reflects deeper emotional disconnects. It’s crucial to differentiate between temporary phases and chronic issues. Research suggests that communication breakdowns, unresolved resentments, or mismatched expectations are common contributors.

Therapy can be a valuable tool, not necessarily to ‘fix’ things but to facilitate honest dialogue. The most important thing is, both partners must assess whether they’re willing to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy or if parting ways would be healthier. ☺️
 
strange188 said:
You might as well just get a divorce.
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Not really. It all depends if there are other factors like kids or love in other forms. I mean I don’t think grandparents have a lot of sex

My point is that while no sex is very depressing and is a good reason for divorce, it’s not necessary to divorce just because of this.
 
Same situation. After years of marriage, back to square 1 living in hostel with room mate.
 
CET87 said:
i think as you grow older, the sex become lesser and lesser but the love should still be there.

if both combo together, the marriage is doomed.
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I wonder about the elderly. Sometimes I don’t see old people being loving but then maybe they are not into outward expressions
 
deep_blue_82 said:
Not my personal experience, but quoting from several journal that I've read: A sexless and loveless marriage often reflects deeper emotional disconnects. It’s crucial to differentiate between temporary phases and chronic issues. Research suggests that communication breakdowns, unresolved resentments, or mismatched expectations are common contributors.

Therapy can be a valuable tool, not necessarily to ‘fix’ things but to facilitate honest dialogue. The most important thing is, both partners must assess whether they’re willing to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy or if parting ways would be healthier. ☺️
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Nice. At middle age, no longer want to rebuild. Too long in an empty marriage. Easier way is to part especially the kids have grown up, got married. Hence many in 50s will part way. Healthier. Divorce rate up in that range. No point going into another as eventually will still end the same. Breakdown in communication, unresolved resentments.
 
Tangerine said:
Nice. At middle age, no longer want to rebuild. Too long in an empty marriage. Easier way is to part especially the kids have grown up, got married. Hence many in 50s will part way. Healthier. Divorce rate up in that range. No point going into another as eventually will still end the same. Breakdown in communication, unresolved resentments.
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have friends that went on to marry vietbu. become father again at 50yr old. really need to work till 75yr old.
 
CET87 said:
have friends that went on to marry vietbu. become father again at 50yr old. really need to work till 75yr old.
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At that age should just Yolo. So old still need to slouch. Not as if he is as rich as Trump. This one is 自找麻烦。
 
CET87 said:
have friends that went on to marry vietbu. become father again at 50yr old. really need to work till 75yr old.
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I think it’s ok. As long as they remain as a couple and do things together. Imagine if one runs away. If one doesn’t work but knows how to save money and takes care of the household still ok
 
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