In a dilemma to get married

[Laguna123]

Actually I now I am in a difficult position whether to get married with my gf of 3 years. On my hand I value my freedom a lot and the other hand I like her company and she very good to me.
She also wants a kid but I feel like going DINK.
Sometime I like to go for a few days overseas trip with my travel buddy of many years but she will said that she feels lonely alone at home, she is now staying with me. I bought my own resales.

 

[MoeLanYong]

Actually I now I am in a difficult position whether to get married with my gf of 3 years. On my hand I value my freedom a lot and the other hand I like her company and she very good to me.
She also wants a kid but I feel like going DINK.
Sometime I like to go for a few days overseas trip with my travel buddy of many years but she will said that she feels lonely alone at home, she is now staying with me. I bought my own resales.

Bro,
Waaaaa.
Siong.
I feel you man
Like 100%
This is the worst thing to happen to a man
Hahaha
I also went thru that stage. Stressful like sheet.
Can ask how old are you now, roughly if you dun wan to be accurate?

 

[Laguna123]

Bro,
Waaaaa.
Siong.
I feel you man
Like 100%
This is the worst thing to happen to a man
Hahaha
I also went thru that stage. Stressful like sheet.
Can ask how old are you now, roughly if you dun wan to be accurate?

Me 41 she is 33, you mean last time you also don’t wanna get married?

 

[MoeLanYong]

Me 41 she is 33, you mean last time you also don’t wanna get married?

Of course dun want lah!
Which single man wants to be tied down?!
I dated her 9 years.
Every time she hint, I act blur
Finally she threatened
Merry or she will find another guy
Because she said her bio clock ticking away
I stress like sheet
Think very hard
Life so good, why want to mess it up with a marriage?
Yet I liked her company
In the end, I proposed.
Actual ROM day, I ran away haha

 

[MoeLanYong]

Me 41 she is 33, you mean last time you also don’t wanna get married?

Waaa 41 is kinda old ady. Should have played enough?

 

[Laguna123]

Of course dun want lah!
Which single man wants to be tied down?!
I dated her 9 years.
Every time she hint, I act blur
Finally she threatened
Merry or she will find another guy
Because she said her bio clock ticking away
I stress like sheet
Think very hard
Life so good, why want to mess it up with a marriage?
Yet I liked her company
In the end, I proposed.
Actual ROM day, I ran away haha

How old was she when she threaten you? But in the end you also got married and have children right? How old did you get married?

 

[Laguna123]

Waaa 41 is kinda old ady. Should have played enough?

She is my 1st gf actually. If I don’t married her think I just stay single liao.

 

[MoeLanYong]

How old was she when she threaten you? But in the end you also got married and have children right? How old did you get married?

She was 27 when she threatened me. When we married, she was 28, I was 30. My bff found me on my ROM day. My hands shake sia. He buyed me a beer. Ask me drink to calm down. Drink ady i LL appear for ROM. Sweat like sheet while reciting vows. Like take pig go slaughter haha. Now got kids.

 

[MoeLanYong]

She is my 1st gf actually. If I don’t married her think I just stay single liao.

Waaaa first and only gf. Steady. How are you guys getting along on a daily basis? Got quarrel or not? When quarrel, who give in?

 

[Laguna123]

Waaaa first and only gf. Steady. How are you guys getting along on a daily basis? Got quarrel or not? When quarrel, who give in?

Seldom quarrel because usually she try to keep quiet when I tell her something off. When she is upset then I will go to have a chat with her to claim her down, the thing is she is very sticky to me. Sometime I go out on weekend to meet friends for dinner she will feel unhappy. I like to have personal time with friends and she is the kind not many friend. I also wanna go overseas short trip with my travel buddy because I got more leave than her, but seem like she cannot be alone in the house.

 

[Laguna123]

She was 27 when she threatened me. When we married, she was 28, I was 30. My bff found me on my ROM day. My hands shake sia. He buyed me a beer. Ask me drink to calm down. Drink ady i LL appear for ROM. Sweat like sheet while reciting vows. Like take pig go slaughter haha. Now got kids.

If let you go back to the past would you still choose the same path of getting married and have children?

 

[MoeLanYong]

If let you go back to the past would you still choose the same path of getting married and have children?

I dunno man. Tough question. What works for me may not work for you. I have had >10 gfs. I reached a stage where I got tired of changing gfs. Very fan you know. All these love things. She suited me best. I didn't regret kids. They gave me new purpose in life. But marriage life has its ups and downs. Single life, when quarrel, send her home, I drive home. Peace and quiet. When merried, quarrel already, this person still next to me. Like wtf. Why still here? When first merried, and she started staying with me, I was wondering when can I send her home so that I can have my ME time or time with my friends?? No such thing. So merried life is not easy my friend. Has its ups and downs. I must say my wife treats me very well. We have more ups than downs.

 

[MoeLanYong]

Seldom quarrel because usually she try to keep quiet when I tell her something off. When she is upset then I will go to have a chat with her to claim her down, the thing is she is very sticky to me. Sometime I go out on weekend to meet friends for dinner she will feel unhappy. I like to have personal time with friends and she is the kind not many friend. I also wanna go overseas short trip with my travel buddy because I got more leave than her, but seem like she cannot be alone in the house.

If know how to quarrel and patch back, more than half your battles is won. Because this is how it is going to be when stuck together forever. She may change. Be prepared. So you have to determine whether her character is the sort who will naturally give in to you. Ah bo she everyday quarrel with you, you confirm siao. The sticky part is a problem. This one, good luck. I have no answer haha

 

[Laguna123]

If know how to quarrel and patch back, more than half your battles is won. Because this is how it is going to be when stuck together forever. She may change. Be prepared. So you have to determine whether her character is the sort who will naturally give in to you. Ah bo she everyday quarrel with you, you confirm siao. The sticky part is a problem. This one, good luck. I have no answer haha

Your wife not sticky to you? Does she allow you to go on overseas trip with friend?

 

[MoeLanYong]

Your wife not sticky to you? Does she allow you to go on overseas trip with friend?

Not sticky at all. I can go overseas with friends. I can go drinking with friends 3x a week on weekdays. She just stays at home do her own things. Never complain at all.

 

[Laguna123]

Not sticky at all. I can go overseas with friends. I can go drinking with friends 3x a week on weekdays. She just stays at home do her own things. Never complain at all.

She didn’t complain you didn’t help to look after kids?

 

[MoeLanYong]

She didn’t complain you didn’t help to look after kids?

No, never did. She is very independent and matured. Of course I helped raised the kids. I did the lion share. Its a personality thing. Yours is very dependent on you?

 

[Laguna123]

No, never did. She is very independent and matured. Of course I helped raised the kids. I did the lion share. It’s a personality thing. Yours is very dependent on you?

She can be independent but prefer me to do it together with her. She is those scaredy-cat kind, need to ask me for opinion with many things. Lucky she listen to me most of the time. Probably she is a Virgo and I am Aquarius that’s why.

 

[MoeLanYong]

She can be independent but prefer me to do it together with her. She is those scaredy-cat kind, need to ask me for opinion with many things. Lucky she listen to me most of the time. Probably she is a Virgo and I am Aquarius that’s why.

You have to decide if this is something you are comfortable with. Usually there is no perfect partner. About 90% correct can already. The rest, have to keep working at it when married. Marriage is always work in progress. Both have put in effort. If she is the kind who always listens (submits) to you, you may have a winner. You may not find another girl like this.

 

[JustMeHere]

Actually I now I am in a difficult position whether to get married with my gf of 3 years. On my hand I value my freedom a lot and the other hand I like her company and she very good to me.
She also wants a kid but I feel like going DINK.
Sometime I like to go for a few days overseas trip with my travel buddy of many years but she will said that she feels lonely alone at home, she is now staying with me. I bought my own resales.

Okay, so here's my two cents on this marriage thing, from someone who's just kaypoh-ing a bit:
•Wah, you've really got yourself in a proper kaki-lang situation, sia. On one side, you like your freedom, going on trips with your jio-mates, and doing your own thing [previous conversation]. On the other side, got a girlfriend you like and she treats you well. That one, sibei difficult, I tell you.
•The kid thing is another story altogether, right? You're thinking DINK (Double Income No Kids), and she's thinking family, and that’s a big difference, leh. You really need to talk about that properly.
•Also, the part where she feels lonely when you go away? That one is very common when couples stay together, and you've got to think about it. Maybe you can sabo her to come along for some trips, or you plan some special trips just for the two of you.
•You said you bought a resale flat – so you're in Singapore, confirm. And that's a pretty big step, especially if you are thinking about marriage, but haven't quite decided yet.
•Anyway, just my thoughts – you have to decide what you want at the end of the day. If you are not sure if you are ready to get married, then maybe you are not ready. You’ve got to think it through properly, lah. There's no right or wrong answer, but got a lot to consider.